IEW Weekly Wire
Hosted by: Jake Jones
February 6, 2004
Vol. 3

*A disclaimer stating: The show and it’s host do not reflect the official opinions of the IEW” flashes. The scene fades in to a darkened news desk while “Closure” by Chevelle plays. The lights come on and reporter extraordinaire Jake Jones is sitting behind the desk.*

JJ: Good evening IEW fans and welcome to this installment of the Weekly Wire. I want to start off with some bad news. We will be without our rumors and news segment for tonight. The good news I’m here baby! So tonight we’re going to review the results from Malice in Minneapolis, do a spot of predictions with myself and Brutus, and then we’ll sit down with our guest tonight Deth. So let’s get this baby going.

(Generic news show music plays as a large flat-screen TV descends behind and to the side of JJ. On the screen it says “IEW Mayhem 1/25/04.” [NOTE: The screen is playing the highlights as JJ describes them, such as the eliminations. Same goes for all other matches reviewed])

JJ: Before we even got to see Jimmy and Brutus’ shining faces on the screen we were sent backstage where Karl Weiss had Danny Starr for an interview. Take a look.

KW: Danny Starr...tonight is a big night for you....a big PPV "Towel Match" with ring legend Razor.... 

DS: First off Karl....its tag team wrestling legend Razor....second...I am damn ready for this match tonight....these last couple weeks have been shitty because of this guy Razor....he ruined my chances at becoming the IC champion....and he ruined my chance at becoming a fan favorite here in the IEW.... 

KW: Well uh...what do you mean? 

DS: I was trying to be nice here in the IEW....but then the RAz came out an made me be bad....he made me jump him form behind and make him bleed....he made me handcuff him and beat the living piss out of him.... 

KW: Well, uh...ok...what do you plan on doing tonight? 

Starr holds up his tightly taped hands.... 

DS: I got a few tricks up my sleeve for the Raz man tonight....all I got to say is not only am I technically sound....but I am resourceful too... 

KW: What do you mean? 

DS: Don't sweat it turkey....just stay tuned for the most violent ride your gonna see in the IEW for a long ass time to come....and remember....I'm technically sound....and Razor....you sure as hell are gonna get your ass kicked tonight!!!! 

[Danny Starr walks away as the scene switches to Jake Jones.]

JJ: As you just saw, Danny Starr was as ready as can be for his brutal Towel match with Razor. In our first match of the night three newcomers to the IEW made their debut in a three way match. IN it were Lil’ Tank, Boca del Inferno and Ramos Tenchi The match was back and forth in the beginning, but it ended up really being Tenchi vs Inferno. In the end of a pretty short-lived battle Boca Del Inferno took control for good and won it with the Mouth of Hell. 

Rating: 5/10 – Good debut match, especially good for Boca del Inferno
JJ’s Pick: Boca
Brutus’ Pick: Boca

JJ: In the second matchup of the night Necra and Shotgun made their debut in a tag match against The Dog Pac. The match stared off as a see saw contest with both teams going for quick pin attempts early on. The Dog Pac then let their tag experience tag control and they had an advantage with good teamwork. In the end, The Dog Pac tried to cheat to victory after several unsuccessful legit attempts but it backfired, cause Necra and Shotgun to get the win by disqualification.

Rating: 6.5/10 – Pretty good match, a little lopsided though
JJ’s Pick: The Dog Pac
Brutus’ Pick: The Dog Pac

JJ: The action didn’t stop there as we went right into our third match, “High Voltage” Steve Adams, Lone Panther and Atticus teamed up to face the team of Harley Quinn, Black Panther and Joe Phoenix. In the early going the Adams led team took it to Quinn’s team with ferocity. However, the match ended very shortly after with Quinn sneaking a win away for Lone Panther with a near impossible small package.

Rating: 2/10 – Lame ending to what could have been a good match
JJ’s Pick: Atticus/Adams/LP
Brutus’ Pick: Quinn/BP/Joe P

JJ: In the fourth match of the night we saw singles action between newcomers Downfall and Night Hawk. Downfall took it to Night Hawk, hitting a vicious superkick from and Irish whip. However, Night Hawk took control but that was cut short as Downfall used hsi ring experience to take control once and for all. A Downsault and Dark Backward later and Night Hawk went Good Night.

Rating: 4/10 – Very blah. 
JJ’s pick: Downfall
Brutus’ Pick: Night Hawk

JJ: After the match Downfall’s compadre Jason Twisted made his way down to the ring and the duo did a number on Night Hawk. Interesting development to say the least. Our 6th match of the evening brought to us a rematch of the DNA and Nitrus kind. This time things would be quite different from the last. Nitrus started off with a flurry of offense, but after a quick pin attempt DNA got the momentum on his side. After 2 near falls Nitrus got back to business and took over for a little bit. DNA then took back control, and after the ref to crushed Nitrus decided to play the drums with DNA’s body using a chair as his drumstick. However, that wouldn’t be enough for a 3 count. Nitrus then let himself get distracted by yelling the ref and DNA capitalized with a Pedigree Powerbomb for the 3 count.

Rating: 6/10 -Good back and forth match. Nothing really extraordinary, but solid
JJ’s pick: Nitrus
Brutus’ Pick: DNA

JJ: Afterwards, Nitrus wasn’t finished with DNA. Nitrus decided to send DNA face first into the chair with a springboard bulldog. And then Nitrus destroyed DNA’s ankle with the chair and an ankle lock submission. There’s no telling just how much damage Nitrus did, but it sure didn’t look good for DNA. As for damage, we were then treated to the Towel Match between Razor and Danny Starr. This match is the culmination of a couple of months of aggression and animosity between the two superstars. Both men wasted no time beating the hell out of each other. Razor started off with quick offense, but Starr used some ringside props to his advantage to wear Razor down. Razor then took control and started hitting his high flying offense including a pretty sweet sunset flip powerbomb off the top rope. Razor then switched up his game plan and started wearing Starr down with submission moves. However, the momentum shifted again and Starr returned the favor with a submission move of his own after wrapping Razor’s leg around the steel post a few times. Starr then got caught sleeping and Razor took over with another high flying then submission combo. Both men went back and forth, with Razor being the one to bleed. Starr then really took over with a vicious release German suplex over the top and through a table on the outside. However, Razor had just enough to stop the ref from throwing the towel in. After a mistake by Starr, Razor took over and in the end Danny Starr was knocked out and unable to continue as a result of a Cutlass on the steel steps. 

Rating: 9/10 – VERY good match between these two, ending the only way it could have with both men gaining respect of all. 

JJ’s pick: Razor
Brutus’ Pick: Danny Starr

JJ: The next match of the night was a hellacious 4 way Scaffolding and Pole match with Rage, Scott S, Deth and Bakuryu. Bakuryu wasted no time with his kendo stick shenanigans. All hell broke loose as Scott S and Deth began their chair tactics on the other 2 and each other. Bakuryu saved Scott S from further damage when he destroyed Deth’s head with the kendo stick. Bakuryu then took it to Deth and then to Scott S, but Deth recovered and finally took Baku off the down with a DDT as Rage set up shop. Deth then destroyed Scott S with a D-monator off the scaffolding and through one of Rage’s tables. Rage and Baku then fell down a long way and all four men were out. In a weird move, Baku left the ring and started going up the ramp. However, all weirdness turned to intelligence and Baku came back with a ladder large enough to reach the title. In the end, Baku beat up Rage and Deth, got the title and the match was over.

Rating: 7/10 – Good match a little short for one of this caliber though.
JJ’s pick: Bakuryu
Brutus’ Pick: Rage

JJ: Afterward, Boca Del Inferno came to ringside and just demolished any and everyone that was around, sending a clear signal that he’s interested in the Extreme title. Aftert he match our illustriosu boss came out with a very special announcement. take a gander:

["A.D.I.D.A.S." by Korn hits the arena speakers as Matt Rison emerges from the curtains with a never before seen IEW belt over his shoulder and a microphone in his hand. He stands at the top of the entrance ramp as the wrestling ring get a total overhaul by the ring crew on hand. Matt Rison looks around the crowd with a grin before he begins to speak.] 

Matt: Ladies and gentlemen, you ain't seen nothing yet. In the coming weeks you are going to witness a spectacle like no other. It will have numerous twists and turns and in the end friendships will be broken, all for this gold strap I carry over my shoulder. In conjunction with our most recent television deal which resulted in our time change, it is without further ado that I present to you the IEW Television Title. 

[Camera's flash from all of the arena as Matt Rison holds up the title. He lowers the title back down to his shoulder as he raises the microphone back up to his mouth.] 

Matt: And now it is with great pleasure that I tell you this title will be like no other the IEW has ever seen. There won't be any fancy gimmicks to decide the waist that this title will soon reside upon, but rather a series of brutal matches where your partnerships are the key to your most ultimate match-up. In this tournament there will be 8 teams of 4, each one competing for their chance to square against one another for the IEW Television Championship 6 weeks from now at Red Square Revenge. That’s right ladies and gentlemen of the United States, you're going to have to watch your TV to see just who will get to wear this precious belt as starting next week not only will the IEW begin the tournament to name this title's future champion, but it will also begin the IEW's first ever tour of Asia. 

Brutus: I can't believe we're going to Asia!!! 

Rollins: It will definitely be a new experience for all of us. 

Brutus: Not only will we get to find out just how famous E.G. Mackie is in Japan, but we're also going to get to see just how wonderful those oriental women are in... 

Rollins: Will you please just shut up and listen to what Matt Rison has to say? 

Brutus: Of course I can, because the sooner we get done tonight the sooner I can make overseas sleeping arrangements. 

[Back at the top of the ramp.] 

Matt: While in Asia, we will visit places that might not seem safe and we might all look back on it later saying "you know, it really wasn't a good idea to come here". But what point is it in saying we're extreme if we don't live it? Thats why I tell all you fans, and everyone who is listening in the back, that I will take this company into a war torn country without blinking twice. If we all come back then God Bless America, but if not everyone makes it back then I'm going to personally spit on all of the poor bastards who weren't extreme enough to survive this dangerous road I have set before this great organization. Then I will personally send a letter of apology to your families letting them know how deeply sorry I am at the tragedy and that if they ever want to see you again they can shoot themselves. Because this is the IEW!!! We're not the United States military and I don't promise to bring everybody home. But what I do promise to everyone in the back is that in the weeks to come, you ALL will be extreme by the time I'm through with you, or you'll all be the next people to be receiving rice packs from foreign relief aid workers. So take my advice, ladies and gentlemen of the audience, and especially those at home watching on television. If you're excited now, just you wait. You ain't seen nothing yet.

JJ: As you just saw, Matt Rison has decided to add a new title to the ranks. Also, the IEW will finally leave the western hemisphere and take on Asia. Speaking of Asians our next match was a #1 Contendership to the Intercontinental Title between Yoshiaga Kajira and Jaret Cannon. Kajira started the match off with a series of basic offensive moves that scored only a 2 count. Cannon took over for a good portion of the match, really giving Kajira a beatdown. After a few close pinfalls and a near count out Kajira gained the momentum back, but it wasn’t for long and Cannon won the match via a Sharpshooter for a knockout.

Rating: 6/10 – Pretty good, but still somewhat one sided. It’d be nice to see both parties get solid offense once in a while
JJ’s Pick: Yoshiaga Kajira
Brutus’ Pick: Jaret Cannon

JJ: The next match was our tag title match, which nearly didn’t happen. Tommy and Johnny contour decided they’d really play the role of bullies and stuff the Geeks into lockers. How quaint. It wasn’t enough to keep the Geeks out for good. Silas and Quentin made it to the ring and the match got underway. The Geeks took over in the early going of the match with good crisp tags and teamwork. But alas, The geeks were outmatched and The Directors took control for good. The Directors won the match by pinfall and retained their tag team titles.

Rating: 3/10 – Ok, that match clocked in at a good 3 minutes tops.
JJ’s Pick: The Directors
Brutus’ Pick: The Directors

JJ: The next match brought us the triumphant return to Pay Per View audiences by Mack Weaver and Dave Jess. They were set to face each other and Gulgamek in a three way match. Mack decided to let Gulgamek and Jess go at it for a while before joining the fracas. Dave Jess then took over after Mack took the big man down. Gulgamek recovered and threw Jess out so he could get his shots on Mack Weaver. After a close 2 Weaver and Jess used their combined might and minds to take Gulgamek out of the match. At this point Mack started to take control, getting 2 near pin falls on Dave Jess. Gulgamek recovered at this point and came back in the ring with a vengeance. Gulgamek nearly won with a bear hug had it not been for Jess breaking it up. Jess, being played for a sucker, got psyched out by Weaver and Mack won the match with a sneaky handful of tights pin for the 3 count.

Rating: 7/10 – Pretty good match, PPV still not living up to the hype yet.
JJ’s Pick: Gulgamek
Brutus’ Pick: Dave Jess

JJ: Afterwards, Gulgamek beat up Tina the referee and Matt Rison did the right thing by suspending him. Did I just say Matt did the right thing? Oh well, weirder things have happened. Speaking of weird our next match was just that. The second to last match of the night pitted E.G. Mackie defending his title against Khrystal Walker. Walker started the match off strong by using her strength advantage. After a weak pin by Walker and some more offense, Mackie took control with a tornado DDT. Mackie nearly cored 2 pin falls on Walker but then was nearly counted out after making a mistake and flying to the outside. Both wrestlers took it to each other with high impact moves and near falls, Mackie, being a tough SOB, kicked out of several of Walker’s signature moves. Mackie finally won the match after reversing The Shattered Khrystal Driver into a Third and Final Beast for the 3 count.

Rating: 7.5/10 – Very good match, but Walker looked very weak but not putting a 130 pounder away with her big moves. 
JJ’s Pick: Khrystal Walker
Brutus’ Pick: E.G. Mackie

JJ: After the match Magnum stalked me and made me interview him. Try explaining to Rizzo, your boss and the only man you’re supposed to interview, that you just interviewed his enemy. Anyway, take a look.

( The camera cuts backstage were Magnum is standing with JJ.)

JJ: Well Magnum, your here, your about to go out there in front of all of these fans and defend your World Title against Rizzo. How are you feeling. 

Magnum: How am I feeling, I feel like kicking some ass. Rizzo I'm ready for you, I am going to break you in half and shut that big mouth of yours. As for you JJ, I remember what you said in your interview with Cannon this week, so when I get done with Rizzo, I'll be looking for you. 

( St. Anger starts up and Magnum walks away from JJ who has a terrified look on his face.)

JJ: Well Magnum, your here, your about to go out there in front of all of these fans and defend your World Title against Rizzo. How are you feeling. 

Magnum: How am I feeling, I feel like kicking some ass. Rizzo I'm ready for you, I am going to break you in half and shut that big mouth of yours. As for you JJ, I remember what you said in your interview with Cannon this week, so when I get done with Rizzo, I'll be looking for you.

JJ: The final match of the night we saw Rizzo finally getting a title shot against Magnum for the World Title. However, all wasn’t kosher for Riz as Matt Rison named himself thee special guest ref. As was predicted, Rizzo took it to Magnum and made the big man look pretty inferior. After some big moves by Magnum, Rizzo took over and finally sexed control. Rizzo had it won with the Flying Dutchman but Rison’s arm cramped, or so that’s the story. Rizzo confronted Rison only to get hit with brass knucks by the ref. Rison then counted the three after Magnum covered and there’s your main event

Rating: 3/10 – THAT was a Pay per View main event? I’d demand a refund if I had ordered it. Ouch.
JJ’s Pick: Rizzo
Brutus’ Pick: Magnum

Overall Rating – 4/10 – No offense to the guys, but this Pay Per View was as substandard as you could get. There was very few matches that lasted more than 4 minutes. The few that did shine were overshadowed by those that sucked bad.

Returns: None

Title Switches: None

Alignment Switches: None

JJ: Well, that was as lackluster of a PPV as I have ever seen. Hopefully the IEW will do better in Russia. Also, if you didn’t notice, Brutus predicted 6 right and I got 3 right. That’s not including the many we both got wrong or agreed on. Oh well, c’est la vie. Now speaking of Brutus, let’s welcome him on the show for our predictions segment.

(Cheesy 70’s porno music plays as a wider shot of the desk is cut to with Brutus in it.)

Brutus: Good evening my loyal subject. This week the IEW invades Nepal with IEW Mayhem. Our first match of the night pits newcomers Jason Twisted and Jack Price in a one on one matchup. I don’t know much about Jason, but I know less about Price, so I’ll take JT on this one.

JJ: Wise choice. JT is a dangerous man, even if Downfall isn’t in his corner. I see JT taking this one as well. 

JJ’s Pick: Jason Twisted
Brutus’ Pick: Jason Twisted

JJ: Our next match is a 4 way qualifier for the very unique TV Title Tournament. in it Rizzo, Scott S, Dream Man and Driz take each other on in a fatal fourway. I don’t think Rizzo is going to try to win this one as he has his sights sets on bigger things, but he’s also not one to throw the match. Look for the top dog in the IEW to top all.

Brutus: I disagree as always because I am right as always. Dream Man is out to set the record straight and shut Rizzo and all of his critics up. Driz’s a newcomer and Scott S may not be up to par after last week’s match. I think we’ll see Dream Man win this one.

JJ’s Pick: Rizzo
Brutus’ Pick: Dream Man

Brutus: The next match is the first of several 8 man tag elimination matches. The team of Deth, Redd Dogg, Night Hawk and Shotgun takes on Downfall, Rage, “High Voltage” Steve Adams and Lone Panther. Both teams are petty even, but I have a feeling Downfall and company will win this one and advance.

JJ: I’m not so sure. Deth and Rage are both banged up. Downfall is on a roll, but Redd Dogg we haven’t seen him yet. But you now what, I think the main man to look at is Downfall and I think he’ll carry his team to victory.

JJ’s Pick: Team Downfall
Brutus’ Pick: Team Downfall
(NOTE: I’m not saying the team name like that b/c the person is the leader, it’s less to type)

JJ: The next tag elimination match has the team of Dave Jess/Necra/Sephiroth Du Loc/Nitrus going up against Joe Phoenix/Dark Dragon/Black Panther/Mack Weaver. This is an easier one to call. The talent on the Jess team is a bit better than the collective talent on Weaver’s team. However, I think Weaver will be the sole man left and will bring his team to round 2.

Brutus: Give me a break. He barely beat Jess last week, and his partners are not that good. The odds are stacked against him and his tam and they’ll lose as a result.

JJ’s pick: Team Weaver
Brutus’ Pick: Team Jess

Brutus: Our final match of the night is our Intercontinental Main Event. E.G. Mackie will take on the new #1 contender Jaret Cannon. Mackie has proven time and again that he can beat any and everybody that comes his way. Cannon will not be the exception. 

JJ: You poor man, you don’t know much. Mackie barely beat Walker. Mackie has gotten lucky more times than Rison’s right hand. Jaret Cannon is coming off an impressive battle royal win and another big win versus Yoshi last week. I think Jaret’s momentum will carry him to finally dethrone Mackie.

JJ’s Pick: Jaret Cannon
Brutus’ Pick: E.G. Mackie

JJ: Well, that’s it for our predictions. Thanks again Brutus.

Brutus: I always enjoy making you look stupid.

*A promo for Mayhem is shown and then the scene cuts back to JJ who is with this week’s interview guest Deth.*

JJ: First off, let me apologize. My intern told me last week that we were interviewing The Directors, but after reviewing the schedule I found that tonight's guest is actually former Extreme Champ Deth. So here he is. How are you tonight?

Deth: Well JJ, I could be better over all, but tonight, I am doing pretty good thanks.

JJ: I hear that. Now, you've had quite a roller coaster ride here in the IEW. let's talk about the beginning. How did you hear of IEW and why'd ya join?

Deth: IEW was actually brought up one night at dinner with Razor. He had heard from some of his contacts that IEW were going to be scouting some new talent and thought we might check it out. I thought with things pretty much quiet for a while, that yeah why not go back to doing something that I love to do... wrestling.

JJ: Yes, I know how that feels. Now, since coming into the IEW you've made quite an impact by becoming the second ever Extreme Champ, dethroning Rage. Were you surprised about winning a title so quickly?

Deth: To begin with I was surprised to be even in that match as a debut. So when I beat Rage for the title, you could say it was somewhat shocking.

JJ: Now, you were out for a while with an injury that ultimately led to the loss of the title. What did you do to bounce back?

Deth: Well I was taken out by a coward, and really that was my motivation. I wanted to come back and prove to him that I was not that easy of an opponent. The man who tried to end my career was real good motivation. Ultimately what helped me to get back to that match at Malice in Minneapolis was Jill and Razor and Walker. The three of them supporting me.

JJ: I'm glad you brought up Razor. I know that the two of you joined as a team, but right from the onset you were split up in the singles ranks. How have you two dealt with that and do you want to tag again?

Deth: Can't speak too much for Razor, but I think both of us have taken it in stride and tried to make the most of it. We are both accomplished wrestlers in the tag division, you know that as well as anyone. However, we also feel that we can do the same kind of things in the singles ranks. As far as tagging again, it is basically inevitable. We are enjoying our runs as solo wrestlers, and will continue to do so for as long as it lasts. I think we can both prove things in the singles division, and then tag up and maybe take the tag division to a new level as well.

JJ: You and Razor are both entered into the TV title tournament. Together, but on separate teams. What's going to happen if you 2 are the only 2 guys left?

Deth: Hahaha. JJ you know that me and Razor haven't always seen eye-to-eye on things. One thing we would agree on is that it would be anything goes and may the best man win. We are both competitors and we both love to compete against each other. I would wager that the two of us would give you and the fans one hell of a show should it come down to that.

JJ: Who would you most like to face if you made it and Razor didn't?

Deth: That is a tough one, I mean there are some great talents out ther. Walker, Dave Jess, Jaret Cannon, Mack Weaver and so on. I think mostly I would like to face Morris Foxx though. A tough and fierce opponent who loves competition.

JJ: Ahh, yes, but he's been pretty much MIA. However, I have a very good feeling he'll be back soon. Now, it's time for our favorite part of the interview. I'm goign to rattle off 5 names and you say the first thing that comes to mind. Ready?

Deth: Shoot.

JJ: Magnum

Deth: Tough as nails.

JJ: Boca del Inferno

Deth: Sneaky little bugger.

JJ: Mack Weaver

Deth: Entertaining.

JJ: Harley Quinn

Deth: Next to Walker... One tough lady.

JJ: And finally, Scott S

Deth: Said it before, I'll say it again... a lucky coward.

JJ: Well, that does it for tonight's interview and this week's edition of the Wire. Again, thank you for joining us tonight.

Deth: Its been a pleasure, catch you on the flipside.

JJ: And thanks to all of the IEW fans who tuned in. See you next week when we have a guest To Be Announced. Good Night!